We’re halfway through the year so why not take a quick inventory of how our love lives are going. Did I tell y’all I moved from small-city Ottawa (feels more like a town) to the Big Leagues of Toronto? Well, let me tell you city living has its perks, but you definitely learn to develop thick skin – quickly. What I’ve observed so far is that I am not all that and people could care less that we are breathing the same air. It sounds negative, but I promise you, it’s just an observation. Kind of like when the popular girl in high school goes to university and realizes the world doesn’t revolve around her. I know how insanely narcissistic this all sounds, but I want to paint the right picture for you all. No one cares about you here because they are too busy with their own lives and you just need to learn to deal with it. The biggest takeaway from the months I’ve been living here is learn to totally love and accept yourself, expecting others to validate who you are will be severely detrimental; people are very forward and vocal about who they want. It is important to have a strong sense of self so not to get lost in the chaos of the critical voices.
I have also learned that people will not want to be with you and that is completely okay; they have the right to not want to be in a relationship with you and this does not make you any less of a person. We are not defined by others and our identity is not determined by how others feel about us – remember that. To put this case in point: a friend of mine had the great idea of setting me up with one of her friends. She knows how insanely picky I am so she told me about him and showed me his pictures before she presented me as an option to him. There I was on a high about possibly finally meeting a cute guy in the city who could string a sentence together, only to be told that I was pretty, but not as curvy as he’d like. Honestly, in this Kim Kardashian-era there really is no hope for me. It stung, but what can I do? This sh*t happens. People have the right to like what they like, big butts included. The mistake I would have made in the past is to try to change his opinion of me so he could see me in a different light, which is insaaane! Like why so desperate? This is all to say that in 2016 and only magnified in 2017, I have learned to let things roll off my shoulder, to stress less and want less the people who aren’t interested in me (no more chasing bad boys, it’s the number one cause of high blood pressure amongst young women) and to appreciate those who truly like me. We always go after what we can’t have, but for what? Wrinkles due to love-induced stress aren’t cute. It’s the year of stress-free living y’all, embrace it!
So, for summer 2017, I resolve to:
- Not take things so personally and just let go
- Be more carefree
- Listen carefully to my intuition
- Be more direct
- Express my emotions and to be more open
- Always guard my heart and have people earn my trust
- Just have fun with dating and yes, it can actually be fun!
Let’s recap in September!