TED Talks: My Interpretation
“Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be. I didn’t consider how many times we would each have to make that choice… without knowing whether or not he will always choose me. But instead, what I have is the chance to make the choice to love someone and the hope that he will choose to love me back and it is terrifying, but that’s the deal with love. We all want that happy ending.”
To be known, to be seen, to be understood. –Mandy Len Catron
I’ve come to notice that each year that passes by comes with changes in my ideas and notions of love. This time five years ago, I truly believed that unicorns existed and that one day my prince charming would come charging towards me on this beautiful mystical beast. Fast forward to 20167 I’m pretty certain there is no way in hell of that happening.
So why this shift? I just stopped believing in fairy tales. Period. I think all the Disney movies and romantic comedies that I was force-fed really did a number on me. Rather than seeing life as it is, I wished upon shooting stars for an Aladdin, a Prince Ferdinand or a Prince Charming. There’s a beauty in innocence; something childlike about believing that love conquers all and that love is perfect, but there’s a maturity in taking off your rose-coloured glasses and seeing the world as it is. It’s not about being bitter, angry or losing hope, it’s about understanding the nature of the beast and acting accordingly.
When listening to Mandy Len Carten during the TED talk, my biggest takeaway was that we choose how to live. Yes, she was talking about love, but ultimately about the power of choice. Just as she decided each day to be in love, we choose our outlook when it comes to love; we decide what we will and will not accept and we decide what love should look like in our lives.
In 2015, I came to realize how rigid I was when it came to love. There were so many rules to follow and obstacles to overcome in order for someone to get close to my very guarded heart. I was seeking a masculine presence in my life, but I hadn’t made room to explore the possibility of love with this person because these barriers that I’ve created only sought to benefit myself; they protected me. But without vulnerability, how do you love? How do you show the full potential of who you are without letting go of the masks you’ve created for this world? How can someone fall in love with the full spectrum of who you are and see your beauty within if you won’t allow it to shine? So what was my deal? I couldn’t push beyond the point of initial chemistry with my love interests in order to explore our mutual admiration because let’s face it, I was scared.
So for 2017, I am choosing to love, choosing to let go of the past, choosing to be present and to live in the moment. But most importantly, I’m choosing not to live in fear; in fear of a broken heart (they get mended anyway right?), in fear of being alone and in fear of not being accepted for who I am. And aren’t you tired? Because I am. All these rules, the analyzing, the over-thinking, can I allow myself to breathe? Can I live? I don’t know about you, but I’m living in 2016. I’m ready for this life that has so eagerly been waiting for me.